First Ever Blog Attempt

First of all, hello. I'm a newbie and may or may not fall in love with the idea of blogging. Lord knows there's a lot rolling around this head of mine that could use an outlet. I'm not so sure who might be interested in anything I write but I know, thankfully, I won't be sharing this with my parents. Forgive me if I'd crude at times and use fowl language. That's just in my nature to do, so be forewarned! I guess now I begin...I told a friend I'd set it up as a top ten list, which is what I'll do. Tonight's topic: Football Induced Insanity and It's Affect on the Male Psyche.
1.) Men turn into complete assholes when in a room filled with others of their kind. I'm not sure if it's the need to show up one another by seeing who can be a bigger dick or if it's an unwritten rule to act as such. If a man remains nice and thoughtful during a football game while in the presence of his buddies, run, he's gay. It'll never work out, Honey,move on while you can.
2.)What is the male fascination with football anyway? Now yes,I enjoy it, but I mostly pay attention to the tight asses running up and down the field. Is that what guys look at as well? Are they maybe imagining themselves in such great shape? Or is it an envy thing like when I see a skinny bitch and I want to either be her or beat her head in with a bowling ball? Whatever the cause, I'm not so sure I'll ever fully understand how every man who watches football is not slightly gay.
3.)Tight Ends: Honestly, what's up with the names of the positions? Who came up with this non sense? I complete see it if it were being said about me. In fact I have a pair of undies from American Eagle that say in big (and I mean big, because I have a fat ass) letters across it: Tight End. I suppose the same can be said about men but with my husbands willingness to show me every especially large poop he takes I can't see how he can be considered a tight end.
4.)Babysitting. Since when does having his friends over to watch the game automatically turn me into the babysitter? I don't even like kids! Except mine of course, but everyone else's had better be on a leash and have a muzzle.Seriously, I don't see the fairness in this. They don't care if I want to see the game, they only care that they aren't disturbed.
5.) Beer. Why is beer a requisite for any sporting event? My husband used to shun me for drinking a beer after a hard day at work and yet I don't say a word when he downs a six pack while watching a game on tv. On his day off. For no apparent reason. So tonight, I'm getting even. Or at least evenly tipsy. I made some blue kool aid and added a bit (and by bit I mean a lot) of coconut rum. You should have seen the scowl on his face when I told him what I was drinking.
6.)Hot Chicks. I may not qualify as one, but apparently the cameras on TV are attracted only to the scantily clad even though it's negative 35 degrees outside kind of heifers. If only someone had told me when I was young that to get on TV all I had to do was be half naked at a football game and eventually, no matter where I was sitting, the camera would find me. To go back to when I was younger and start over again with the knowledge I have now. I'd be a hot chick, TV or not. But alas, I'm not, therefore those bitches must die!
7.)Referees. If the guys sitting out in my garage right now know sooooo much and can see each and every penalty then why aren't they refs? Quit your bitching and quit hollaring at the TV because they can't hear you!
8.)Emotions seem to run rampant at football games. From pure euphoria to the deepest despair, it seems men really do have feelings. Only when one guy fumbles a ball and another guy grabs his ball and runs away. Sounds like a lot of playing with balls is going on here! But hey, don't cry-Tim Tebow- remember it's just a game and you get paid way more than the average person.
9.)Ok I just heard some strange grunting noise from my garage that sounded oddly enough like my husband. Should I be worried?
10.)If I have a hobby that I enjoy, which I do, why is it that I get ridiculed and glared at whenever I partake in such an activity? Do I say a word while he's throwing shit around and tearing out his hair because someone didn't call a face mask? No! Yet if I sit at the computer and start to type he starts in with the 'I guess I'll start dinner and laundry and do dishes'. Why God why didn't I become a lesbian????!!!!!